Go ahead, say it: “What, more bah humbug?”
Sort of, yes. This is about holiday music. Not the live choruses of cute kids or professional bell-ringing church groups. This is about the canned crap that’s piped into every store, waiting room and commercial establishment you will now enter through January 1.
I hate it. It makes me want to turn Rudolph into dinner, string up the elves and tell Santa to plant one on my posterior.
I like the songs that I heard as a kid. But now it’s overdone, and here’s why:
Holiday music is played too early. Many places have been cranking it out since October, when their holiday decorations went up, also too early. Don’t rush the season. Give Halloween candy a chance to digest and jack o’lanterns a chance to rot first.
Holiday music is played in inappropriate places. The Hallelujah Chorus at the car wash? O Come All Ye Faithful at the post office? (actually, given the plight of the U.S. Postal Service, that might be the right soundtrack). How about Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer when you are in a doctor’s office – with your grandma? There’s a time and a place for this stuff, and it’s when you’re decorating the tree, wrapping gifts, opening gifts and stuffing your maw with holiday food.
Holiday music played 24/7. This is easier to avoid, thanks to satellite radio, iPods and other devices. But for those people who only have their car radio for the commute, the change in format from rock ‘n roll to Jingle Bell Rock is enough to cause its own special brand of road rage.
Holiday music is played nonstop where you work. Some people have no say in music selection at their job. If you work manufacturing or retail, management decides what gets piped in. And of course, to get folks “in the spirit of the holidays,” it’s usually a nonstop loop of mind-numbing, reworked holiday classics. People have been known to bang their heads in frustration until they bleed, throw themselves into heavy machinery and run screaming through the fire doors after hearing Alvin and the Chipmunks do one Christmas song. Stuff like that can permanently wound the psyche, you know.
To those of you in charge: put an end to the music madness. If you are determined to play the same dozen songs just to turn people into blithering idiots, at least wait until after Thanksgiving. Then turn up the volume and aim the speakers at the people who waited outside in line all night to get into the stores for Black Friday. That’ll teach them.
- Rant: Holiday Music (blueeyedfishblog.wordpress.com)
- The Joy of Holiday Music (solsticesisters.wordpress.com)
- It’s beginning to look a lot like… (uicradio.wordpress.com)