Cirque du Soleil Makes Me Look Bad

Cirque du Soleil, Alegria, at Royal Albert Hal...

Cirque du Soleil, Alegria, at Royal Albert Hall, London, UK. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Cross one off the bucket list. I wanted to see a live Cirque du Soleil performance, and I finally got the chance last night.

The show is amazing, and I highly recommend spending whatever money you can afford to see it. But be warned: you’ll feel really bad about your workouts afterwards. This is one troupe whose daily athletic grind trumps yours.

I’m not a slouch; I run, bike and swim and several times a week, I do two-a-day workouts. Today’s double workout was done on less than five hours of sleep, and trust me, I will pay the price for that later this afternoon. But watching the Cirque acrobats dance and cartwheel on a moving floor, spin on ropes, ascend to the ceiling and flip, twist and turn on rings and silken banners, I realize I’ve got nothing on this kind of talent. I realize many were either born with the ability or learned young how to bend themselves into positions the human body should not go. On the one hand, it makes me feel lazy. On the other hand, it makes me feel grateful and awed that someone else can handle that kind of training and pain. Besides, I still seem to be able to find my own share of aches and pains these days without climbing a rope or assuming an impossible yoga position.

On a slightly related topic, I will sound off about the audience at this show. Rant warning: this won’t be pretty.

  • The show is two hours and 40 minute, including intermission. It’s OK to wait that long without food, right? Some of you purchased enough food to go into hibernation for a month. The concessions were insanely expensive – six bucks for a soda, and how about sixteen bucks for an order of chicken tenders? The show started at 7:30 – more than enough time to eat beforehand. The sound and smell of people eating the entire time was distracting.
  • The show’s start time was advertised as 7:30 and it was also on your tickets, but many of you decided that 7:30 was the time to first find your seat. Have you no manners and no understanding of what these performers do? Don’t be late, you morons.
  • You can stand to be untethered from your phones for the duration of the show. Your world will not come crashing down. How many stupid selfie photos of yourselves, your food, the arena, etc., do you really need to take and post? Who gives a crap about your dimly lit pictures showing you scarfing watered-down drinks in plastic cups?
  • Don’t talk during the performance. We did not pay that kind of money for tickets to listen to your asinine commentary. STFU.

Whatever the Cirque performers get paid, they deserve more, not only for their work, but for putting up with the uncouth among us.

 

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