It’s Not My Feet, It’s The Shoes

English: Black Patent Leather Fetish Shoes 197...

English: Black Patent Leather Fetish Shoes 1973 – 1977 These shoes have a 7-inch stiletto heel and are a size 11 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


My feet hurt. I’ve been shoe shopping. I hate shoe shopping.


Yes, I am of the female persuasion, though I think there is something cuckoo about my girly DNA. I don’t like to shop for clothes either, though if I am in need, I don’t mind hitting the cosmetics counter. But I think of that as more necessity than enjoyment. For me, a day without war paint on is a day without sunshine, rainbows and unicorns.


For the record, I lasted two and a half hours today, covering the local mall plus two independent shops. I was prepared, wearing comfortable shoes, plus knee-highs so I could try on shoes. I was not hungry or thirsty, I was somewhat well-rested and I had actually planned the trip. Plus I really need the shoes for a fancy event next week. So yes, desperation plays into this as well.


I don’t understand women’s footwear. I’m seeing racks of pancake-flat, flimsy sandals next to displays of five and six-inch jewel-encrusted hooker-heel platforms alongside above-the-knee leather boots. The displays look like a schizophrenic shoe factory on meth. Nothing practical, nothing classic, nothing you can wear for a standard work day or even a few hours at a party. If you’re heading to the beach, your next escort service “date” or out to the driveway to shovel snow, you’re good as far as shoes go.


I did check out one high-end department store, at the behest of an acquaintance. Nice shoes there, and with the cheapest ones at around $475, they should have been. Some of them had diamond-studded stiletto heels, which I thought was a waste. Who’s going to see them, unless you take them off when your feet hurt, or you spend the night on your back wearing nothing but those shoes?


At another store, the one pair of shoes that made the grade were a half-size too large. Another store in the chain had them, and would hold them for me, provided I wanted to drive there by the end of the day today. No, they don’t do inter-store transfers; I could have them shipped to my house, but of course, I’d have to actually pay for them without trying them on. And it would take seven business days to ship them. I don’t have seven business days, even if the idea of buying shoes untried seemed like a good plan.


So I’m down to a few hours next Saturday. I’m not feeling good about this. And no, I don’t do online shoe shopping. With a bunion, flat feet and one foot a different size than the other, that’s a place I simply don’t go. I’d spend more time returning than trying on shoes if I did. And I cannot fake comfort in shoes that aren’t. I never understood how women could smile through the pain of toes caught in the pointy shoe vise grip and leg cramps from trying to balance all their weight and walk gracefully on a heel as thin as a supermodel’s pinky.


Wish me luck – I’ll be trying again one last time next week. There is no failure option on this. I already bought the dress.






Filed under health and beauty

4 responses to “It’s Not My Feet, It’s The Shoes

  1. I have never found comfortable shoes. What’s that like? Even my sneakers hurt.

  2. nancymn

    I have outstanding running shoes, but at $120 a pair, they should be. My flat shoes are good, too, but I cannot wear the really flat, thin-soled sandals. My biggest issue is finding heels. I can wear up to a 2 1/2″ heel height, but forget anything pointy-toed or even remotely stylish.

  3. Pingback: Heels, Heels, & More Heels! « Abrielle Valencia

  4. Pingback: Women shoes. Be the Queen of the Night this Christmas | Yareah Magazine

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