Dear Couple-To-Be: I Love You, But You’re Expensive. I’m Over It.

A wedding party in 1918

A wedding party in 1918 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I somehow manage to find myself in the middle of a fair share of other people’s wedding drama. It’s a lot of fun, in a sick kind of way.

The latest: my friend “T” has a nephew who is getting married next month. The BtB (Bride to Be) and her intended (GtB, or Groom to Be) are both in graduate school, both scheduled to graduate with PhD degrees in political science next year. OK, I already hear a few eyeballs rolling back in heads. Both in school and getting married before graduation and finding jobs? Yes, you got that scenario so far. Oh, and only jobs at a top university for both of them will be satisfactory.

To make matters even more interesting, the wedding of their dreams is not exactly rooted in any form of financial reality for their families. Their gift registry contains not a single item under $100.00, the bride’s taste in clothes and accessories runs to strictly designer designs and the wedding shower has morphed from a hoped-for simple affair with close friends and family to a full-blown restaurant affair that no family member is really ready to pay for.

To throw on top of that: a bachelor party with no guest of honor (the GtB did not like any of the dates his friends chose, so they are going to party without him) and the BtB and GtB leaving town for a conference just days before the shower, an event to which almost no one has RSVP’ed, possibly because the BtB with champagne tastes did not do the beer budget thing and put stamps on the RSVP envelopes. A simple thing, laughed at perhaps in this digital age, but people still notice. Especially when it’s missing.

“T” has decided to send a wedding gift within her price range, and plans to attend the shower and the wedding, in spite of the expense, which is considerable for her. She’s staying out of the drama for her sanity’s sake, but wonders how these two young people, with good hearts but heads pitched between la-la land and Fantasy Island, will face reality when their schooling is finished and the real world crashes their party.

Stay tuned. The big day is a month away. And we love a good reality show.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Dear Couple-To-Be: I Love You, But You’re Expensive. I’m Over It.

  1. Teresa Cleveland Wendel

    Too bad they weren’t registered at Target.

    • nancymn

      Not these two. Nothing but the best! I do know a couple who did that, though. They were just starting out and needed everything from buckets to dish towels, so they registered at Target. Good move, because everyone they knew could afford to get them something.

  2. Gift registries are just one option, as we all know. You can give them whatever you want, really.
    It will be interesting to see how they handle things like rent plus student loan paybacks. I always wonder if people who borrow huge sums have ever used those free student loan repayment calculators you can find online. Then again, if you’ve got enough hubris to think you’ll walk straight into your dream job upon achieving your degree, you’ve got enough chutzpah to think, “It doesn’t matter how much I borrow — with a PhD I’m sure to make a lot of money when I graduate.”

    • nancymn

      These two are planning to not only walk into their dream jobs, but they are planning to walk into them at the same top-notch unviersity. And nothing else will do. I wonder if that means they will stay unemployed until that glass slipper fits. Oy vey.

  3. I delight in, result in I found exactly what I was looking
    for. You have ended my four day lengthy hunt!

    God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

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