When The Door To Your Happy Place Is Locked…

When the computer craps out, the kids are sick, the husband runs out of ways to fix things and your friends have seemingly taken up residence in the Witness Protection Program to get away from you, it’s pretty easy for stress to start to pile up just a bit.

Notice I put the item about the dead computer first. Most of you know I don’t have kids, but I know many of you do. I was trying to be fair on this. My “cubicle work” computer, which has been on its long, slow death march for weeks, finally bit the dust today. A new one is on order, and I have another to use in the meantime, but you know how that is. You like what you’re used to using, and it’s a pain to change.

I’ll be fine until the new one arrives. It’s not the main reason I’m tugging on the door to my happy place, wondering why it won’t budge. I’ve been working that door for a while, between a death in the family and working on too many things I don’t enjoy and not enough things that matter. I admit it; I’ve gone over the details of what to do next, why I should do it and of course, the big annoying “WHAT IF” questions. What if I don’t budget right for this move? What if I do this next thing, and find out I hate it? What if I do this next thing, and find out I’m not good at it?

What if I fail?

Lots of people have failed at new lives, new jobs, new inventions. It’s been said that defeat is not the worst of failures; not to have tried is the true failure. Losing a loved one has certainly sharpened my focus, not only on what’s important, but how much time there is (or isn’t) to get things done.

It’s time to clear the way, I think. Time to remove the safety net of this current life. An ugly thought, to do this at my age. But the words in my blog title, “My Next Life,” need to take on their true meaning. The Husband asked me what I wanted for my upcoming birthday. It’s time to tell him the truth. It’s time for something different. I need and want to work, but not at something I hate, just for a paycheck. And it’s not about going bigger, it’s about growing better.

 

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7 Comments

Filed under blogging, Careers, death, inspirations, mental health, Uncategorized

7 responses to “When The Door To Your Happy Place Is Locked…

  1. gramma

    It’s more likely to be Your Next Life (and you can refer to your notes, after all!) than it is to be a colossal failure. And even if it’s a flop, so what? It’s not like you’re too old to do something else. I’m not an eager risk-taker but have taken some dandy riskis over the years. Only one was a disappointment, but that’s all it was; it wasn’t the end of the world. And it led me to the next thing. That next thing now provides me with a retirement check deposited to my account on the first of every month, and all I had to do was learn something new and show up five days a week to do a job I positively loved doing. I say be aware of but don’t dwell on all the things that might go awry. Instead focus on the benefits of all the things that will change for the better. Aw, hell…throw caution to the winds. The longer you wait, the closer you’ll get to “I’m too old to change now.” Sock up on Ramen noodles and put your DH to work planting a veggie garden, just in case…

  2. gramma

    and forgive the typos…my eyes are tired:)

  3. wherethedaytakesme

    It’s all good. whatever you do, you will be your best.

  4. It’s not as though you haven’t looked. If you think it’s time to leap, maybe you should.

    • nancymn

      Indeed. Funny how sometimes we keep trying the damned lock, when in reality we should be just walking away from the door. Stubborn? Foolish? Scared? Not really sure. The Husband and I are talking about the next move, though, and while I don’t need his permission, it does have his favor, which is a nice thing to know.

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