I don’t get much of a window when it comes to engaging The Husband in long-term house projects.
Basically, I have from mid-November to mid-February, better known as the Motorsports Dead Zone, to get him involved in anything big around the house. It’s not his fault, he claims. That’s the time period when there’s no auto racing to watch on television.
Wait a minute, you say. I’m no grease monkey, and even I know that most auto racing events take place on weekends, ergo, the broadcasts would as well. Why can’t he get stuff done during the week?
Well, he could, if not for the recap shows, pre-race shows, post-race roundup shows, practice and qualifying rounds, and all the pointless banter-and-drivel shows that consume the time of many motorsports broadcast journalists these days. And don’t get me started on the other car shows. There’s Autoweek, Vinsetta Garage, Top Gear (the awful U.S. version and the much better British version), Wheeler Dealers and Barrett-Jackson auto auctions. Plus shows where cars might come into play at some point, maybe, perhaps: American Pickers, Pawn Stars, Auction Kings. And there’s even Velocity, a channel basically devoted to all greasy things with wheels.
Still think there might be time for him to do house projects? What, in between going to his own car shows as well? Sheesh, he has to hand-clean his baby with cotton balls and tiny sponges, using $50-per-bottle car wax. I wonder what he would say if I spent that kind of money getting myself waxed (for the record, I don’t. At least, not per session.) I recall buying expensive makeup foundation years ago, and making the mistake of telling him it was sixty dollars for a one-ounce bottle. I thought his brain cells would collapse at the thought of my spending that much for cosmetics that I remove every night. But he doesn’t blink, whimper or utter a word of protest when it comes to pricey car care.
Anyway, it’s only March, so motorsports mania is just beginning. But that’s OK. I have until November to make up the next major honey-do list. And it’s a doozy. Rip up all the carpet (this has been on the list for years), put down new flooring, paint the living room, replace the bedroom curtains…