When Life Becomes too *?%!#$!*, Reach for a Magnum

I’m hoping I was not the only one who had a bad day today.

From a crapped-out computer to myriad other wrong and stupid things, plus assorted leftover to-dos, life does feel a little under the weather at the moment. When it’s all going bad, even dealing with people you love is a torment. When the only thing that could possibly help is beating the stuffing out of someone, it might be time to go to the store and get a Magnum.

OK, you’re thinking. You want us to go buy a gun? How could that be a good idea at a time like this?

Oh, wait. A box of Magnums. You mean the, um, uh, yanno (stage whisper here) condoms? Well, a little of what goes with those might actually relieve the tension, now that you mention it.

Never mind; you want a magnum of champagne? Well, that’s a bit of booze, isn’t it? (It’s actually 1.5 liters, or 50 ounces).

Nope, none of the above is what I mean. I am talking about the latest ice cream craze, the Magnum Ice Cream Bars. Double Chocolate, Almond, White Chocolate, Classic, Dark and Double Caramel. Three to a box and it’s a good thing, because you don’t want any more that three of these in your house at any time. There’s plenty of high-quality premium ice cream in stores, but this new dessert dream has some of my friends saying things like:

  • “If they aren’t illegal, they should be. My daughter brought some home a couple of weeks ago, and I think it’s safe to say that it’s all her fault that I’m now on meds to lower my cholesterol!”
  • “So they named ice cream after condoms? That’s pure marketing genius!”
  • “I do love me some Magnum! The caramel one was heavenly, and the white chocolate was amazing too.”
  • “I swear, after he took his first bite of his first Magnum, he got that strange smile men get after….!!!”

The rest of the world has enjoyed the brand for years, under different names and with other flavors offered, but it’s only recently become available in the U.S. and Canada. This is not a treat for the fat-fearing, calorie-watching among you. But if you’ve my kind of day, sometimes there’s nothing better to sweeten it than a decadent ice cream bar.   And sooner or later, you will have a *?%!#$!* moment that does last all day. And you’ll remember this blog, and you will get up, throw on some clothes, get in the car and head for the grocery store.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go out. Hubby just ate last Magnum.



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Filed under blogging, food, mental health, thought

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